I can tuck mytits in my pants
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
im six kinds of drunk right now
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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