Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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