That's when you crack a 10am beer
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
