Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
