OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
