Me too!
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
