my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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