found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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