shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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