just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
