I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
