If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
