Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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