come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
