Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
