I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
