I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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