standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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