somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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