You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
