You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
