We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
