Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
