the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
