Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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