the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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