She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
