Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
