Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
