ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
