we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
