I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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