how can u be prego again
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
