so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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