I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
