You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
