a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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