The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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