Just cropdusted the office
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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