At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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