Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
