Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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