Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
