They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
