Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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