is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
