I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
