yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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