Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
