I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
